After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
