I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
