In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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