Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
