this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
