Betty ford says i'm here all night
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
