Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
