he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I wear drunk well.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
