His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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