I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
