Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
