im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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