Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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