I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
