Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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