OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
