dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
