he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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