ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
