I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize