No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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