I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
