I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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