You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So here I am, sexting at work.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
