I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
