Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
