isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
