on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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