I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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