Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish I only lived at night.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
