her vagine was all disorganized.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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