the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
This house was built for laser tag.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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