Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
