i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
