I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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