its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
