just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
