worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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