Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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