Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
