I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Randomize
