thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
