Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
