I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
