I wish I only lived at night.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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