WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
