But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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