You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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