What a fucking waste of an outfit
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
be right there i have to get my cape
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
