How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize