I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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