my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I wear drunk well.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
