you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
