Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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