At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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