Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
