You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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