i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
