lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize