My cat gives me a boner
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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