you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
