I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize